Halloween with Ilya
It started as a tweet and now it’s a short story. This was maybe not the most productive use of my time today, but once I got the idea in my head I needed to get it out. So here is a hastily-written short about Ilya giving out candy on Halloween. I imagine this taking place a few weeks before the dinner party with Hayden that the other short story is about. Ilya’s first Halloween in Ottawa, living in a house rather than a fancy Boston penthouse.
Enjoy (if you dare…)
Ilya barely ever used his Instagram account. He’d set one up when he’d signed with Ottawa in July because the team encouraged players to use social media. Probably because the team was so bad that this was the only way to generate interest in the players. Ilya had posted exactly four times before today. The first was a press photo of himself wearing an Ottawa jersey and ball cap after signing his new contract. The second was a photo of his new Ducati motorcycle. That one had earned him a panicked phone call from Shane. The third photo was a perfect flying-V of Canada Geese over a lake, which he had labeled “Canada.” No one knew that when Ilya had taken that photo, he’d been at Shane’s cottage, and Shane had been standing behind him with an arm draped over his shoulder.
The fourth post had been an action shot taken by the team photographer during Ilya’s first game with Ottawa. So Ilya’s Instagram account was pretty boring. He still had over two hundred thousand followers, though.
And now those two hundred thousand followers were going to see his Halloween costume.
Ilya had posted the photo an hour ago, just after he’d finished decorating his front yard for trick or treaters. His house was big, and he had an enormous driveway to match, but he didn’t want that to deter children. He loved seeing kids in their Halloween costumes. He’d spent the afternoon jabbing plastic spikes topped with glowing pumpkins and skulls into the grass along the walk to his front door. He’d hung fabric ghosts from the big elm tree in the middle of the circle of his driveway. He’d put an assortment of festive signs in the grass near the open gate at the end of the drive that said things like “Trick or Treat” and “Beware”, which was maybe a mixed message but the store didn’t have much left to choose from.
He was dumping a box of full-size Kit-Kat bars into a large plastic bowl that said “Witch’s Brew” on it when his phone buzzed.
Shane: Seriously?
Ilya grinned, and typed, Good, right?
Shane: You are the fucking worst.
Ilya glanced up at his reflection in the giant mirror that hung in his foyer and laughed. His costume consisted of three things: a Shane Hollander Montreal jersey, a Montreal Voyageurs ball cap, and a bunch of dark freckles that Ilya had dotted onto his own face with a semi-permanent marker.
Ilya: I think I look good. Very sexy.
Ilya watched the floating dots as he waited for Shane to type his reply. Then the dots went away and Ilya’s phone rang.
“Why?” Shane demanded.
“It’s funny.”
“This is the stupidest thing you have ever done.”
“Not even close.”
“Where are you even?”
“I am at home,” Ilya said calmly. He ripped open a box of full-size Mars bars.
“So you’re just sitting around alone at home, dressed like me?”
“I am dressed better than you, Hollander. Did you see my jeans in that photo?”
“Oh god,” Shane squeaked. “There are so many likes on this post. What the fuck?”
“Yes. Tons. MrsRozanov98 says that it is ‘Epic’.”
“It’s not epic. It’s a jersey and a hat.”
“And freckles.”
“Don’t even get me started on the freckles. What is that, Sharpie? How are you going to wash that off?”
Ilya wasn’t actually sure, but he’d worry about that later. “How is Edmonton?”
“It’s snowing here,” Shane grumbled. “I think it’s been snowing since August.”
“When does the game start?”
“Not for five fucking hours. I hate time zones.”
“Aw.”
Ilya nearly jumped when his doorbell rang. “There are kids here! Wait a minute, yes?” He rested the phone on the table and picked up the giant bowl of chocolate bars. When he opened the door he was greeted by a cluster of four small children, and three adults who were standing back a little.
“Trick or treat!” the kids chorused.
“Aaa! Yikes! A vampire!” Ilya said, clutching his chest. “And a zombie! This is terrible!”
The kids laughed, and Ilya dropped candy bars into their bags. The last two kids stepped forward and Ilya nearly died when he saw them. Two little girls dressed as knights. “Are you here to save me from the monsters?” he asked.
The girls giggled, and Ilya gave them candy. He glanced up at the parents and he could tell they recognized him but were unsure of what to do about it. He’d gotten that look a lot over the years. He noticed that one of the men was holding a baby who appeared to be dressed as a little dragon.
“Oh my god,” Ilya said, gesturing the man closer. “I have to see that. This is adorable.”
The man beamed and carried the baby over to Ilya. “That costume is hilarious,” the man said. “I saw it on your Instagram earlier.”
“Is the scariest thing I could think of,” Ilya quipped. He smiled at the baby, who was staring at him and blowing little spit bubbles. “I love this guy. What is his name?”
“Aaron.”
“Hello, Aaron. Come back in a few years and you will get candy bars from me, okay?”
Aaron the baby kept staring at him.
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Rozanov,” the man said.
“Ilya,” he corrected, and held out his hand. The man shook it and said, “Danny.”
“Have a good night, Danny.”
Danny nodded, looking giddy. He’d have a story to tell his buddies tomorrow. Ilya waved at the other parents as they turned and headed back down the driveway with their kids. Then he remembered that Shane was still on the phone. Maybe.
Ilya closed the door and picked up the phone. “You still there?”
“Yeah.” Shane’s voice was oddly quiet.
“What is it?”
“Nothing. Just…I heard most of that, and it was very sweet.”
Ilya shrugged. “I like kids.”
“I know. And they like you.”
“Of course they do.”
Shane laughed, and Ilya wished he was here with him, handing out candy with him. The more daring part of his brain imagined taking their own kids trick-or-treating someday. Maybe he could talk Shane into some sort of family costume, like the Ninja Turtles or Batman characters. Shane would look good as Robin.
“I miss you,” Ilya said.
“Me too. What day did we say worked? Thursday?”
“Yes. I can drive up Wednesday night and leave Thursday afternoon.”
Shane sighed. “That’s not much time.”
“I know.”
“Aw fuck. Now the NHL Twitter account posted your costume photo.”
“Oh yes?”
“Is it weird that I’m a little into it?”
Ilya laughed. “I can wear it on Wednesday night.”
“Nope. That’s weird.”
“Admit it. You want to make out with yourself.”
“You look nothing like me.”
“Thank god.” Ilya peeked out the window and saw another group of kids and their parents approaching. “I have to go. More kids are here.”
“Okay. I need to go eat dinner anyway.”
“I will save you a Mars bar for Wednesday.”
“Do you have any Snickers?”
“No. Peanut allergies, Hollander. Come on.”
“I’m not allergic to peanuts.”
“Kids are. I don’t want to hurt kids.”
“Not every kid! I’m sure you could—”
“Just buy a Snickers bar, cheapskate.”
Shane laughed. “Maybe I will. A little Halloween treat.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too. Goodnight.”
“Good luck tonight.”
Ilya ended the call just as the doorbell rang. As he opened the door, he made a mental note to buy a box of Snickers bars before Wednesday.